I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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