My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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