I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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