2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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