I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
