i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize