me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
