i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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