ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My vagina just recognized that song.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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