We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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