we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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