Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
