boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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