My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
