He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I queefed so loud it echoed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka