Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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