whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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