I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
