You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
