Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
