he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
