can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
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I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
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Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.