Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.