I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.