You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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