Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
