Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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