put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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