well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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