tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.