I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.