Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture