I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
