He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
my poor anus
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
