a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
