So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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