i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
