Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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