I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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