I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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