Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
