And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
