He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
3 2 1 whiskey
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
