Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
