five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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