I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
