remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
