I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
