I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
