Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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