I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
God I need to hump something, right now.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize