It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This toilet bowl is my home.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
