Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
