He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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