I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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