oh god the rape fog is back!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
