I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
