Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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