yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
