So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
