so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
