I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize