:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
