I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
