Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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